What would one expect for their very first wedding anniversary?  A romantic dinner out?  A bouquet of beautiful red roses?  A Domino’s Pizza?

No?  No pizza?  Oh shoot, I guess Big Daddy and I got it all wrong then.  Darn.

January 16, 1999 we celebrated our first wedding anniversary.  We couldn’t afford a baby-sitter for Jake.   A fancy meal out, followed by a romantic comedy at the theaters was totally out of the question.  So, we opted for a Domino’s Pizza by candlelight.  And it was perfect.  We used the good china and poured our cheap beer into expensive glasses.  I couldn’t have asked for anything more.  Well, I could have.  But I didn’t.  (You’re welcome, Big Daddy).

Yesterday, January 16, 2008 we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.  We COULD afford a baby-sitter for Jake and even the other 3 kids too.  An elegant dinner out, followed by a show could have been easily achieved … but again, we opted for the pizza by candlelight.  And it was perfect.  As always … just as it’s been for every year since the first.

The anniversary that Big Daddy and I celebrate each year is such an exciting and anticipated event for all the children … and us.   From year to year, we don’t change anything … except adding another chair to the table and the pizza from Domino’s to Casey’s.  The children become giddy … and I wouldn’t want to ever even so much as dream of spending the evening in any way rather than the way we’ve been doing it for 10 years.

Don’t mind a shirtless Molly.  I guess she got too hot in her sundress.  After all it is 10 degrees outside.

This particular evening we informed the children that we would ALWAYS spend January 16th together eating pizza by candlelight.  The oldest two in turn informed us that when they are married and have children of their own, they’d have to bring them along.

Fine with me.  As long as they bring the pizza and cheap beer too.

We’ve all heard it before, “When I was a kid, we got up three hours before we had to be at school to complete our chores.  And then, we had to walk to school.  Up hill … BOTH WAYS!” 

As a child, I remember rolling my eyes when hearing such statements … but now, I’m thinking, “WHAT THE HECK!!  The kids today don’t know how easy they have it.”  And quite frankly, I believe we’ve only got ourselves to blame, as parents. 

When did the standard change?  When did it become acceptable for it to be more important to be a ‘friend’ to our children, rather than a ‘parent’?  How did it become the norm that children aren’t held responsible for doing anything?  Or being responsible for anything they do?  And how in the world do children not get their mouths washed out with soap for saying some of the things they say … TO THEIR PARENTS??   

All of this has become the norm.  And what do the kids get in return?  New video games!  Fast food!  Cell Phones!

A few years back, and I’m not saying how many, I was responsible for doing chores.  It was my part in the family.  The few things I was able to do to help out, allowing things run smoothly in our home.  When I was 10 or 11 years old (pretty close to how old my two boys are), emptying the dishwasher … mowing the lawn … cleaning my room … folding laundry … those were things I just did. 

Without question. 

And if I did question … well, I don’t know what would happen … because I NEVER DID!!! 

Today, I feel, children believe they are “entitled” to everything.  Without earning a darned thing they are given.  And the parents not earning the respect they should have from their kids.

It was just the other day, I realized my rugrats are no better.  They don’t do crap around here.  And while they don’t have cell phones … they do have their share of video games and fast food.  I’m just sayin’.  Guilty.

It’s amazing when these ‘light bulb’ moments go off in a mother’s head.  A certain rage takes place when you realize you’ve been cheated. 

Or cheating.  Cheating your kids that is … because these same children that are not made to hold any sort of  responsibility … will be lost when they grow up and have to move on and out on their own.  They will not know how to function.  They will have no clue how to care for themselves.   Another light bulb moment … maybe that is why it is not uncommon for grown children these days … to live at home into their twenties, sometimes thirties.  When you look at it like that … it all makes sense, doesn’t it?  Good grief.

So, I frantically do what I know … and that is to pull up GOOGLE.  What else would I do?  Hello?

And I find something perfect.  Exactly what our family needs.

CHECK THIS OUT …

Does anyone else feel their family and children are slipping away from what they had envision for them … just because ‘that’s just the way it is’ in today’s world?  Are you caught up in the hype or have you been able to stay strong and raise your kiddos ‘old school’?

Since my kids log online each day, I plan to use this new way of keeping track of their chores … and rewards.  I’ve shared it with my kids and they have expressed interest and excitement by using online chore manager.  I’ll let you know how it goes …

Your thoughts?  Where are you and your family when it comes to chores and responsibility?

The day one is born is a day that is eagerly anticipated by most children.  And heck, even some adults.   Birthdays are a special day for everyone.

However, should it be celebrated “by” everyone?

Lately the topic of ‘teaching our kids that everyone wins in life’ is popping up everywhere.  I’ve seen it on The View, The Today Show and The Early Show, just to name a few.

Many believe that handing out trophies to every child on a soccer team instills self confidence in them.  Score shouldn’t be kept.  Everyone is a winner!  That every piece of artwork, no matter how good or bad, should be praised as if it were a masterpiece.

On the other hand, it seems as if just as many believe the opposite, that those children are just being set up for failure because not everyone wins in life.  I happen to be one of those people.  I personally think that telling children that they played ‘equally as good’ as the other team and/or players, is flat out lying to them.  If they didn’t play as well, that’s okay.  I will praise their effort, and hope they will strive to do better … but fact of the matter is … they didn’t win.  They weren’t the best.  So why should they be told they were.

If everyone is praised and rewarded the same, wouldn’t you think kids will quit trying as hard to do their very best?  Will they just sit back and skate by … knowing their reward will be the same as the kid who worked his tail off?

Many people disagree with me and feel that if  every child is pointed out as being a winner, it will build the self confidence that will help them later in life.  That in order for them to grow into productive adults, their self esteem must be instilled in them at an early age.

What’s your take?

Should every kid take home that soccer trophy?

That seems to be the question.    Or is the question … To Watch Or Not To Watch? … Some parents are all for their kids watching, and others are forbidding it.

On Tuesday, September 8th, the President of the United States will address the nation’s children via a live speech being broadcast on the White House website and C-SPAN, along with others.   According to the White House, the talk will be along the lines of a pep talk encouraging students to stay in school and set goals for themselves.  Some other people believe there is more behind the address than just that.

Judging from the news, blogs, and radio the parents of the children in school seem to be divided as to whether or not this speech should be shown in school on Tuesday.

• From the DesMoines Register
• From the Press Citizen

What are your opinions on the issue?

Remember our parents telling us stories of what school was like when they were kids?  I don’t know about you, but I would howl at the descriptions.  And it felt a little like they were from a different planet.  But really, it was just a different time.  And I was a different kind of learner.

That’s the crisis our education system faces today.  Our children have grown up as digital natives.  They don’t know a world that didn’t include sophisticated gaming software, iPods, or computers in most homes.   But their teachers are not digital natives.

In fact, many teachers are afraid of the digital era.  And without meaning to, creating a digital divide in the classrooms.  I know lots of teachers are wrapping their arms around technology and completely engaging their students.  But I also know many are not.  Or their districts put up so many barriers — they can’t.

Well guess what.  Our kids have a message for us.

The question is — what are we going to do about it?

~ Drew McLellan

My little family and I are off to the state fair tomorrow.  I keep hearing that there are lots of new things to do, see and eat.

I’ve been perusing the website to try and get ideas of something different than what we usually do- which is wander around trying to find things I’ve heard about.  That rarely works.  So I am checking out the Just For Kids page now and can hopefully move on to a page that tells me what’s new.

So I am asking for advice.  Has anyone been to the fair this year?  What must we do?  Or do you have a favorite thing you always do that I should make it a point to find?

Let me know what we just can’t miss!

~ Jody

My daughters and I are heading down south (that would be southern Iowa) to visit my grandparents tomorrow.  (My girls are especially blessed to have not one but 4 great-grandmothers and one great-grandfather still living.)  My grandparents still farm the same acreage my great-grandparents once farmed (it was sold out of the family and my grandfather bought it back about 50 years ago) and then some.  They are attached to the land and my grandmother says that grandpa will “leave this farm feet first”, meaning he will die there- and happily.

As I was thinking about our upcoming visit I realized that my daughters may be the last in this family to have a farm to visit.  Neither of my parents farm and though Doug’s brother technically lives on a ranch they have only a few horses (and it’s outside of Dallas.  Ick.)  It makes me sad to think that my grandchildren may only visit a farm through a school field trip or an outing to a place like Living History Farms.

It almost makes me want to buy an acreage and raise a few animals and a garden.  It would be more of a hobby farm, but that still counts, right?

When I was growing up I hated living on a farm because I couldn’t do anything in town (no Brownies or Girl Scouts, no after school birthday parties, very few sleep-overs) because it was an hour long round trip for my mom to pick me up.  After I graduated high school I couldn’t wait to leave Iowa for the “big city” and left the state for 10 years.  And now I’ve come back and come full circle- wishing for the quiet, clear nights in the country and a few acres to call my own.

Anyone else feel that way?

by Jody

You probably think that since I’m a regular contributor to the Family & Parenting channel of IowaMoms.com, I’m an expert on the subject. I’ve got it all under control. My kids are model citizens, and my house is spotless.

Well, sorry to disappoint.

The truth is, I probably have far more to learn from all of you than you have to learn from me!

Take, for instance, the subject of getting your kids to help around the house. Or just picking up AFTER THEMSELVES. My husband and I are nearing our combined wits’ end on this topic. In fact, he called me at work today, clearly having run out of patience. “How am I supposed to get the kids to help without fighting with them all day?” Sadly, I had no answer for him.

It’s gotten to the point where my kids will raid the refrigerator, slurp down a Go-Gurt, and just leave the still-oozing tube on the carpet. They don’t even think twice!

I keep wondering where we went wrong. It’s not like we’ve ever condoned that kind of behavior, and it’s not like they see us throwing our apples cores behind the couch. We definitely haven’t been immaculate housekeepers over the years, but we’re not disgusting slobs either. We like things clean. We like things tidy. Most of the time, we just get overwhelmed and run out of time to get it all done.

We’ve tried yelling. We’ve tried bribery. We’ve tried a point system for positive reinforcement. We’ve threatened spanking. We’ve tried guilt. We’ve referenced Bible verses. Nothing seems to work.

So if there’s something that works well for you, or you have an idea of how we can get our three hoodlum boys (ages 10, 6, and almost 4) to pitch in and be responsible members of our family, please, PLEASE comment!

Otherwise, Nanny’s gonna be getting a call…

Posted by Paula @ boogersandburps